I am sure I have a normal, healthy amount of dirty little secrets – no more than the average non-serial killer. When forced consider one to share, I decided to go with the first one to pop in my head. I, Jennifer Zarcone – no-reality-show-watching, master’s degree-holding, public radio-listening, New Yorker subscribing, grown-ass woman never miss an episode of Days of Our Lives.
It started innocently enough. Co-workers wanted to watch in a conference room during lunch. I refused for a while. Soap Operas?! Don’t we have more important things to discuss?! Deep down I knew why I didn’t want to watch. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to quit. You see, I come from a long line of addictive soap watchers. We are ABC watchers – the Quartermaines and the Webers – these were my people. And I knew if I started watching, I wouldn’t be able to stop.
Now, those co-workers are long gone and the Brady’s and the Horton’s – their lives and the absolutely ridiculous situations they get themselves in and out of are just the brain candy I need at the end of the day (in my defense – with DVR, you can watch a Soap in about 15 minutes). It is their ability to bounce back after any set-back – to be up and walking around and running for mayor weeks after being shot in the head at point black range; or having your heart taken out and put back in and then dating casually two weeks later. These lessons of resilience just can’t be found in the real world – or on PBS.
I record more hours of television per week than most people work.
This is not an exaggeration.
And yes, I have a full time job.
I knew before starting to write this post that I recorded a lot of TV. The only thing I can stand to watch ‘live’ is sports, so anything else that I have an interest in seeing goes straight to the DVR. I’m a chronic multi-tasker, and the thought of wasting my time on commercials just about sends me over the edge.
Anyway, I made a list of the shows I’m recording right now. Keep in mind, its fall and my “TV busy season,” but I’m averaging about 35 hours of recording per week. I also realized through this little exercise that I watch a lot of TV on-demand because I literally can’t fit it into the schedule of my DVR. It *might* be getting a little excessive. Then again, maybe its not as abnormal as I think.
The funny thing is, 5 years ago, I was watching almost zero TV. I had a different job, was working crazy hours, and had more of a “live to work” than “work to live” lifestyle. When I wasn’t working I was thinking about work, regardless of the time of day or day of the week.
When I switched jobs and could relax enough to sit down at the end of the day to watch something mindless, I quickly got addicted. I love it all – reality, drama, crime scene shows, cooking, travel… the list goes on. HGTV is a serious problem for me – I find myself watching re-runs of House Hunters International – already knowing the house they will pick but watching it anyway, dreaming that one day I will be buying a house in those exactly locations.
Maybe I will try to watch a little less TV now that I see the magnitude of my “little secret” but really, I couldn’t be more content than when I’m sitting on my couch, watching these ridiculous shows with Ellie on my lap.
I’m in bed before your children
Yes that is right, i go to bed early. Very early. Wicked early. Unbelievably early…You get the idea.
I usually follow that up immediately with, “but i get up very early too,” hoping for a smidgen of understanding or forgiveness I guess.
I know it is lame. My husband knows it is lame. My sisters and brothers know it is lame… and yes I beat my parents to bed most nights (they are in their 70’s) and they know it is lame.
Urban Dictionary defines me as a closer. Good ole’ Ben Franklin has made it easier with his famous quote about how I’m going to be “healthy, wealthy and wise” all because I’m early to bed. Then of course the Canadians go and test the theory experimentally and disprove good Ben (seriously).
But here is the deal. I can’t help it…I love going to bed more than most things (except my husband and dog). My bed is my sanctuary and sometimes, when I wrap up the day, my biggest indulgence is to get in bed before 8pm. It is decadent, wonderful and thoroughly enjoyable!
Dirty little secret or not – I have been ridiculed and yelled at for being an early sleeper and through all of it, I just don’t care because ‘I yam what i yam.’
I enjoy morning, I enjoy going to bed early, and I love my life. Do with that what you will!
I love going to the movie theater to watch movies. Not rock’m sock’m action movies or gory thrillers. Oh no, not for me. I demand chick flicks that always end the way you’ll know they’ll end. I want no surprises. I want to know going in that the guy gets the girl or the girl gets the guy. No worries, no stress, perfect ending every time.
My little secret is I don’t want any company when I go to the theater. I want to sit alone with no one around me. I don’t want the chatter and I don’t want to share my large tub of popcorn. I want a couple of hours where I can mindlessly shove popcorn in my mouth and drink my soda.
I pick the first movie of the day on Saturday or Sunday and head off to oblivion. This is me time and I love it – it’s not better than a massage but relaxing in a different kind of way. When I’m sitting fat and happy in a theater with a huge grin on my face because of some mushy, romantic or funny scene on the big screen, well, I’m in heaven. Mindless, chick flick enjoyment all by myself.
What’s your dirty little secret??