Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty

Andy Rooney says: As I grow in age, I value women who are over forty most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over forty will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.

If a woman over forty doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.

A woman over forty knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of forty give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing.

Women over forty are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.

A woman over forty has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over forty couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over forty. They always know. A woman over forty looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over forty is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk, if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over forty for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of forty-plus, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some twenty-two-year-old waitress.

Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,” here’s an update for you. Now 80 percent of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.

via www.divinvecaroline.com

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7 responses to “Andy Rooney on Women Over Forty

  1. I loved Andy Rooney even more when he first published this. Thanks for re-running. It’s fantastic. (Too bad more men aren’t as smart as he is/was)
    -The Spinsterlicious Life

  2. I’m so glad I stopped by and got to read this! Who knew Andy Rooney was so smart? I thought he was just cranky.

  3. I know me too! The fact that he is the source actually makes it extra awesome.

  4. So wonderful and loving, it makes me cry! Thank you.

  5. I loved this man !!! I really miss him on 60 Minutes!!

  6. Stacy Pererson

    As lovely as a post this is, it was not penned or endorsed by Andy Rooney. It was in fact written by Frank Kaiser, columnist for Suddenly Senior.

  7. COmpletely agree and love this quote “women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage….”

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