Tag Archives: family

Careful What You Wish For… (Working From Home)

I’m very thankful to work remotely for a great company, and there are definite advantages in working from home.  But, it’s just like any relationship.  The advantages can eventually become the disadvantages.

It’s the little things that drive you crazy… like the fact that you can’t control when people mow their lawn, or when a loud truck drives by your house.  It can be disastrous if someone knocks when you are on the phone, so my dogs go in a closed room faaaar from the desk and a sign goes on the door when I have important conference calls.

Working over telephones, it’s hard to tell when the speaker is finished or someone new is going to pipe up, so there is the frequent unintended interruption of your colleagues.  You also have to work a little harder at interpreting meaning since you can’t see facial expressions.

You learn to not have overnight guests during the week since most people don’t really get what it means to ‘work from home’.  They bang kitchen cabinets, get ice from the dispenser, and walk into the room talking all the while risking your professionalism.  They don’t mean to cause trouble; they just haven’t experienced working for a paycheck from home.

The obvious differences are not having to dress professionally and the lack of office socialization.  Working in an office brought some of the best relationships I’ll ever have.  My girlfriends from work have shared many tear-producing laughing spells and gotten me through many crises.  I miss them.  I have to try a little harder to get my regular dose of friends.

It is true that I don’t spend as much money on clothes, shoes, and jewelry as I did when I worked in an office.  The result is that now I never have the right clothes to wear, anywhere.  You see, I hate to shop.  Needing to shop for work clothes got me in the stores, and then I bought all kinds of clothes and shoes.  Now, I just keep putting it off and will eventually be that oddly-dressed lady who generates chuckles.

Wearing comfortable clothes while working brought its own harsh reality when I put on ‘real’ clothes a few weeks after starting the remote job.  It’s harder to notice that you are gaining weight.  I couldn’t believe it until I started realizing that I didn’t walk from the parking garage to the office anymore, from my desk to lunch, to meeting rooms, to the kitchen,…

It’ is great to avoid commuting in rush hour.  But that evening-hour commute gave me opportunities to stop by the grocery store or the drug store.  Now, it seems I’m perpetually out of the basics.  In the old days, I would not venture out of the house without makeup applied and hair done at least a little.  I no longer consider it worth the time to ‘get ready’ just to run to the store.  So, I tend to put off going altogether or pretend I’m invisible and run into the store looking like an embarrassment to my younger self.

In the end, the biggest difference is freedom in where you live.  I’m thankful to the now-friend who offered the original position to me.  It allowed me to move back to the southeast.  Now, I can have a casual weekend dinner with my Mother and Grandmother, and that’s the best advantage.  Now, if I can just figure out what to wear…….

~Lori

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Cutting the cord

I’m 30. I’m single. I live in the same general area that I grew up in, about 30 minutes from my parents. 

My family is very close. My brother and sister are two of my best friends.  I love my parents to death and I love spending time with them.

Here it comes…

BUT

During the holidays, my parents still expect me to stay at their house on “the eve” – Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Eve – especially Christmas Eve.  And here’s the BUT – I really, really, REALLY don’t want to.  I haven’t wanted to for the past few years, but I continue to just do it because, I don’t feel like I have a good excuse not to – aside from the fact that I am a college graduate with a mortgage.  Plus I know my parents would be sad/disappointed.

I don’t like sleeping on the couch (well, not when it’s on purpose), and that’s where I sleep when I stay at my parents.  I like my house and  my bed (both that I BOUGHT); I like waking up and having (a lot) of coffee before interacting with people, and I like my own shower and not having to pack a bag to go a half an hour away. 

Don’t get me wrong – I love spending the holidays with my family, and wouldn’t want it any other way. But I wonder, how much longer can this go on?  Will I have to sleep there on the eve for the rest of my life if I decide not to get married and/or have kids? Will I be leaving my dentures in a cup on the table next to the couch?  The majority of my friends are married, and most with kids at this point, so they aren’t expected to stay at home on “the eve.”  But I’m the same age as them.

So I think this might be the year.  I’m going to take a stand!!

Who am I kidding – I’m going to drink 12 gimlets on Christmas Eve and pass out on the couch and end up having to stay anyway.

But really – this doesn’t just apply to Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve – there are tons of examples of situations where, if I was married, would have totally different expectations.  When does that change?

– Erin

The travel twitch

I’m a bit of a travel junky.  If I don’t have a (fun, non-work) trip in the works I tend to get a little skittish (I have a bit of a travel twitch and find myself consumed by planning trips that aren’t happening any time soon) .  Unfortunately, I’m a travel junky that needs to work and only have 20 vacation days per year (which according to salary.com makes me lucky) so I constantly feel like an inadequate travel junky.  My gut tells me I should be exploring somewhere new at least every other month (that’s when the travel-twitch starts) but instead it’s more like twice a year.

I’m not sure when it started exactly.  My first trip out of the country was just in 2004 (note: I had been to Cancun but I don’t count it if they pick you up from the airport and drop you at a resort that you never leave).  I went to Ireland.  It was awesome, but after just visiting again recently I realized that I didn’t have a clue where I had been and really had very few memories about the trip. I think it must have started to build slowly, and then started to get out of control about 5 years ago.  And now I’m obsessed.

I subscribe to 3 travel magazines.  I save said travel magazines and revisit them often, especially if I’m going to (or considering a trip to) one of the places they’ve highlighted.  I have a map in my living room of the places I’ve been and the places I want to see, and examine it every time I walk up my stairs.  I’m constantly buying books on travel and planning trips, and my latest obsession is doing the Trans Siberian railroad trip.    I could go on, but I won’t (you’re welcome).

My parents, on the other hand, have never left the country (other than to Cancun – see note above).  Until recently, my dad didn’t seem to have any interest in even going anywhere, which completely blew my mind.  I took a trip with my girlfriends in 2008 to England, went to Stonehedge, and when I came back with pictures my dad finally admitted he’d like to see that some day.   I immediately told him I would plan a trip for our family.  I figured Ireland would be a great starter-country for traveling – minimal language barrier (I say minimal because even though its English, some of those guys talk reeeally fast), gorgeous landscapes, and our roots are almost all Irish.

Fast forward 3 years, and we are finally off!  I started ‘officially’ planning this trip in April of this year (that’s when I booked our first B&B) and we just got back last week.  The result: SUCCESS!! (for the most part).

How I rate success:

  1. We all came home… alive.
  2. We are all still talking.
  3. We really did have a great time.
  4. My parents are talking about renting a house in Dingle for a month when they officially retire.  If you’re ever going to Ireland, I would suggest you do the same – it’s freaking gorgeous.

So at dinner one of our last nights’ there, I ask them whether they will now start exploring on their own… and where they’d like to go next.  The response: wherever I’ll plan for them to go (in a nutshell).

They loved the trip because they had to do NO planning – never had to worry about where we were going, how to get there, or what we were going to do once we arrived.  But if I’m not doing the planning, they likely aren’t doing the traveling.

And I have now added trip planner to the list of things I want to be when I grow up.  Already on the list: barista, florist, furniture refinisher, lottery winner (all have the same odds of happening.)

–          Erin